WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU BUY A DRESS THAT'S NOT THE ONE!
You've bought a wedding dress! YAY! At the time you thought it was the one. Instead of jumping for joy and cracking the champers, you just want to cry. Because deep down in your heart you know it's NOT the one. You might have already brought it home, or you might have put your deposit down. So what has changed? Why it is that a dress that you loved, now doesn't give you that same joy.
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It's not often I come across a bride that goes through this, but I have experienced it enough times to shed some light. As a wedding dress designer it is always disappointing when a bride just isn't in love with her gown anymore. Especially after months and countless hours of making a gown you feel the bride wanted, to find that they now don't like the gown and want to go in a different direction.
Words - Naomi Peris​
There are a few things at play here.
With some brides I find that they put too much emphasis on the big day and 'looking perfect'. Wanting to be the most beautiful woman in the universe can sometimes be unrealistic. I can't tell you the amount of times a bride has sent me an email after the wedding day apologising for her behaviour. Organising any event can be stressful, not to mention your wedding. But it's important to put everything into prospective. If the name plates don't arrive, would it be the end of the world to go to Officeworks, buy some nice card, and hand write them yourself? Or just leave them out?
I think we can all get swept up into that perfect fairy tale wedding, with beautiful photos, amazing food, and that gorgeous gown. But at the end of
the day, I always say to my brides, as long as you turn up and your fiance turns up, that's all that really matters. Don't forget that your fiance loves you for you. Not for the dress you wear at your wedding. He would probably think you look gorgeous in anything that you wear.
If you think your gown is important enough to change, and are prepared to spend another $2000 or more, then there is an option of getting another gown, as long as your time frame allows it.
I'm always cautious of brides that want me to make a gown when they have already purchased one. It shows me that they are indecisive, make poor decisions, and are possibly thinking emotionally not logically. This would not be a customer I would want. What if they don't like what I make for them also?
'Wanting to be the most beautiful woman in the universe can sometimes be unrealistic'
Another option is altering your existing gown. This could definitely be a cheaper option than buying a new wedding dress, depending on the alteration. There are big changes that can be done to a gown to change the way it looks. I've changed an aline silhouette into a sheath, I've added straps and sleeves, and even changed entire fabrics to alter the appearance. Depending on your budget, most of a gown can be recut or embellished.
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If I can offer any bit of advice, I would say to not judge your gown too harshly when first trying it on. There are a lot of things at play when you try on your gown for the first time. For example, I know that if my hair is not washed, not much is going to feel right on me. And the same goes for the first fitting. If your make up isn't right, or you're feeling bloated, or if you've just had a fight with your mum, chances are your gown will not look it's most beautiful. It would be like you are wearing the opposite of beer googles (when everything just looks and feels bad). So keep this in mind. If you think the moment you try on your gown, the skies will part beaming a ray of sunshine on you, while a choir sings angelic notes and birds flutter around you, giving you signs that THIS IS THE DRESS.... the reality is that this may not happen. Actually this definitely won't happen, but you get the idea. Keep it real sister.
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Another tip I would offer is to think BIG PICTURE. Yes, your wedding day is important, and yes, you would like it to be beautiful. But make sure you take a few reality checks along the way. Don't put too much pressure on you and your wedding day. After all, it's just one day in your entire life. If it's not perfect, it doesn't matter, that's life.
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Naomi xx
